Ranking All Stanley Kubrick Films

Why should you care about this list when there are many like it? You shouldn’t. But this one is mine.

Credit: Warner Bros.

Often coined as the “filmmaker’s filmmaker”, it shouldn’t be controversial to claim Stanley Kubrick is without a shadow of a doubt the most important/influential movie director of all time.

This asseveration isn’t thrown lightly by my dumbass, let it be known. Ask any film nerd and they will confirm this, one way or another. His Eminence’s greatness is an undeniable axiom of life as self-evident as “2+2 = 4” and “pineapple doesn’t go on pizza”. May March 7th of 1999, the date when this godforsaken Earth was deprived forever of Stanley Kubrick’s magnificence remain cursed for all time.

The way I see it, there are three possible opinions you can have about His Eminence’s work.

•You think Stanley Kubrick is the best film director of all time. Obviously, you would be correct. You know and understand that 2+2 = 4. Nothing to see here. Moving along.

•You love his films but prefer the work of someone else. This is what psychologists often call “denial”. Hardly a pathology, this usually is just a problem of perspective. Nonetheless, people in this category recognize the indisputable legacy of cinema’s most influential behemoth. So pretty much nothing changes. Stanley Kubrick’s legacy remains supreme.

•And finally, there are those rather unfortunate souls who dislike Stanley’s work for whatever reason. He’s dull, he’s weird, he’s slow, he’s ridiculous, he’s overhyped; pick your poison. If you find yourself here, may God have mercy on your soul and guide you back to the path of righteousness as soon as possible. Either way, Stanley Kubrick will give you the ultimate middle finger from heaven standing right atop your list of “the most overrated film directors of all time”. No matter what, Stanley Kubrick ALWAYS wins.

So to honor the work of cinema’s Leonardo da Vinci, I have decided to rewatch and rank every single one of his feature films.

Take notice that this list is entirely subjective. So naturally, you WILL DISAGREE with what you see here. That’s fine. In fact, I encourage you to openly call me out on my wrongness in the comments. I would love to see what other people think about Sir Stanley’s…